谢丽尔·欧文:探险的重要性|放手让孩子飞得更高-三有成长成都分校-八卦帝

谢丽尔·欧文:探险的重要性|放手让孩子飞得更高

三有成长成都分校欧美女星 2020-02-17 08:06:10 793

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有句话说：母爱是一场放手的旅行，是一场得体的退场。当面对孩子想要勇敢的去冒险，我们既开心又担心，何时放手？如何放手让孩子尽情的去探索，去展翅高飞，是我们作为父母，需要修炼和思考的。来自正面管教高级导师谢丽尔·欧文的分享，希望对你有启发。

Cheryl Erwin

谢丽尔·欧文

When I was a kid—admittedly, a long time ago—I devoured every title in the “Nancy Drew”series about an intrepid teen detective who always got into tight spots, but managed to solve whatever mystery she’d stumbled upon.Her contemporaries, the Hardy Boys, did the same. When my son was 5, we discovered the Boxcar Children books, about a family off our or phans on the runfrom a mean grandfather who lived alone in an abandoned boxcar in the woods. Myson loved these books, but he never ran away or tried to live in an abandonedboxcar, nor did I sneak out my bedroom window to solve mysteries.

很久很久以前，我还是个孩子的时候，如饥似渴地看完了《南茜·德鲁》系列里的每一个故事。这个故事是关于一个勇敢的少年侦探，她总是陷入困境，但不管遇到什么谜题，她都能解决。她的兄弟哈代，也是这样。我儿子5岁时，我们发现了《箱车儿童读物》，讲的是一个四口之家的孤儿从一个吝啬的祖父那里逃跑的故事。我的儿子很喜欢这些书，但他从来没有逃跑过，也没有试图住在一个废弃的车厢里，我也没有偷偷地从我的卧室窗户出去看他的秘密。

The issue of children andrisk-taking has been in the news a great deal recently. A Maryland family isunder investigation for allowing their 10-year-old son and 6-year-old daughter to walk a mile home from a park without adult supervision. And Tommy Caldwell and Kevin Jorgeson’s astonishing free-climb of Yosemite’s Dawn Wall has drawn criticism from parents who claim it will inspire kids and teens to take unnecessary risks. Seriously? Do we need to remove Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys,the Boxcar Children, the Goosebumps series, and other thrill-inspiring literature from our library shelves, and place our kids in protective custody?

最近的新闻里经常出现孩子的冒险问题。马里兰州的一个家庭正在接受调查，因为他们让自己10岁的儿子和6岁的女儿在没有成年人监督的情况下从公园步行一英里回家。汤米·考德威尔和凯文·乔奇森在约塞米蒂国家公园的黎明墙上自由攀爬，这太令人震惊了，以致于招致了家长们的批评，他们说这会鼓励孩子和青少年冒不必要的风险。这样的事情很严重吗?我们是否需要把《南希·德鲁》、《哈迪男孩》、《箱车儿童》、《鸡皮疙瘩》系列以及其他启发灵感的文学作品从图书馆的书架上移走，把我们的孩子置于保护性监护之下呢？

Not all risks involvedangling thousands of feet in the air or tracking criminals alone. It is a riskto try out for the soccer team, or to play in a game. It is risky to auditionfor honor band or choir. It’s risky to ride your bike home from school, tocross a busy street, or to climb to the very top of the jungle gym. And thereare children out there who are actively discouraged by loving parents from doing any of these things. They might get hurt; their self-esteem might be damaged.They might break a limb or injure themselves. And it’s true: taking risks canlead to social, emotional, and physical injury. But that doesn’t change thereality that risk is not only unavoidable for children, it serves an important purpose.

并不是所有的风险都要悬空数千英尺或单独追踪罪犯，参加足球队的选拔或参加比赛是有风险的，参加荣誉乐队或合唱团的试唱是有风险的。从学校骑自行车回家，穿过繁忙的街道，或者爬到攀登架的最顶端，这些都是很危险的。有很多孩子因为慈爱的父母而不被鼓励做这些事情。他们可能会受伤，自尊心也可能会受损。他们可能会摔断四肢或受伤，这是真的:冒险会导致社交、情感和身体上的伤害，但这并没有改变这样一个事实：风险不仅是孩子们不可避免的，它还有一个重要的作用。

Most of the parents Imeet these days are risk-averse. They worry so much that their children will behurt in some way that they work overtime to eliminate any threat to theirchild’s wellbeing. I know kids who aren’t allowed to walk to school, eventhough they’re only a block away. I know kids who can’t play in the front yard because they might be abducted, or visit a new friend’s house without an FBI background check on the parents. (Well, that might be a slight exaggeration, butyou get my drift.) And with the best intentions in the world, parents sometimes discourage children from trying new things. After all, who wants to hold acrying child who wasn’t selected for the team or who fell short of a goal?

如今我遇到的大多数父母都不愿承担风险。他们非常担心自己的孩子会受到或多或少的伤害，于是对孩子非常照顾，以消除对孩子健康的任何威胁。有些孩子离学校只有一个街区，家长也不让孩子走路上学。我认识一些孩子，他们不能在院子里玩耍，因为他们可能会被绑架。他们也不能在联邦调查局(FBI)背景调查新朋友的父母之前，去他们家玩。(好吧，这可能有点夸张，但你明白我的意思。)虽然父母的初衷是好的，但他们有时还是会阻止孩子尝试新事物。毕竟，谁愿意去管一个因为没有入选或者没有进球而哭闹的孩子呢？

It’s important torecognize that children acquire confidence, problem-solving skills, and the ability to assess and trust their own competence by testing boundaries,physically, emotionally, and socially. It’s an important form of learning, and without it, children are in danger of losing their courage, avoiding new experiences, and isolating themselves from a world full of beauty, adventure,and yes, risks. They may never break an arm, but they may live with anxiety and doubt. Where would we be without history’s risk-takers, the explorers andpioneers who were willing to try something new—and whose moms and dads released their grip long enough to let them try?

重要的是要认识到，孩子们通过身体上、情感上和社交上的测试来获得自信、解决问题的技能，以及评估和信任自己能力的能力。这是一种重要的学习方式，没有它，孩子们就会失去勇气，逃避新尝试，把自己孤立在一个美丽、冒险和探险的世界之外。他们可能永远不会折断胳膊，但他们可能生活在焦虑和怀疑中。如果没有历史上敢于冒险的人，没有那些愿意尝试新事物的探险家和开拓者，以及那些愿意放手让孩子尝试的父母，我们会变成什么样子?

The first time my 9-year-old son asked to ride his bike with his friends from our home to the grocery store, about a mile away, my first reaction was to say no. But Iremembered how I grew up, packing a lunch and disappearing into the hills nearour neighborhood, playing and building forts until the sun began to sink and the street lights came on. So instead, I took a deep breath, reviewed safety rules and his route with him, asked him to call me as soon as he got home, and said okay. And for 90 minutes, I sat staring at the phone on my desk. And he did call me, elated, sweaty, and the proud possessor of a new pack of baseballcards—and he’s been taking measured (and successful) risks ever since.

我9岁的儿子第一次跟我说，他想和朋友骑自行车从我们家去一英里外的杂货店时，我的第一反应是说不。但是我记得我是如何长大的，我带着午饭，消失在附近的小山上，玩耍，建造堡垒，直到太阳开始落山，街灯亮起。所以，我做了个深呼吸，和他一起回顾了安全规则和他的路线，让他一到家就给我打电话，然后说好。整整90分钟，我坐在那里盯着桌上的电话。他确实给我打了电话，兴高采烈，汗流浃背，还得意洋洋地捧着一副新棒球卡——从那以后，他就一直在谨慎地(而且成功地)探险。

Over protecting children only creates different risks for them. Open your grasp a bit, teach then ecessary skills—and let go. Your child may discover how to fly.

过度保护孩子只会给他们带来不同的风险。稍微张开你的手，教一些必要的技能，然后放手。你的孩子可能会学会如何飞行。

翻译：教学部

审核：谢玉婷导师

编辑：bo宝/虾小画

内容来源：www.positivediscipline.com

备注：以上内容由三有成长从网上翻译整理所得。原文地址：

http://cherylerwin.com/blog/index.cfm?PageNum_getblog=3

ByCherylErwin，版权归谢丽尔·欧文所有。