昨日,12月18日晚7时左右得知SHINee钟铉的这一消息,不敢相信,不愿意接受。
然而,钟铉离世的报道却接踵而至。据韩国警方表示:钟铉所在的公寓里发现类似褐煤的物质在燃烧,看起来像自杀。事件还在进一步调查过程中。最终,SM官方:“非常抱歉给大家传达这样悲痛的消息。SHINee钟铉于12月18日离开了我们。”
18日下午四时,金钟铉给姐姐发去“至今为止太辛苦、让我离开、告诉别人我至今吃了很多苦、这是我最后的问候”等内容的短信。
姐姐发现后立即报了警,在下午6时金钟铉在首尔清潭洞一写字楼被发现。虽然被移送到了临近的大学医院,但在18日晚上被判定死亡。
又一位精灵,就这样插上翅膀,从这个世界飞走了。
——— / “谢谢你” / ———
昨天SM发表的官方声明中有这样一句话:“钟铉是最棒的艺人,他比任何一个人都热爱音乐。”
钟铉生前的好友在接受采访时也说:“到底是什么折磨着钟铉,第一是音乐,第二也是音乐。”
“他经常说自己无法达到周围人的期待。他想要做的更好,但觉得能力不足。年龄越大,积累的越多,所以很累吧。”
他最爱的是音乐,最令他痛苦的也是音乐。
但钟铉无疑是个优秀的音乐人,在他短暂的音乐生涯中,他一直以音乐带给我们感动。
2011年他演唱的《城市猎人》的插曲《So Goodbye》,是我们这代人在那年对韩剧OST的所有记忆。
他为李遐怡创作的《Breathe》成为多少人深夜不寐时的安慰。
“没有关系,我会拥抱你。”
《Lonely》中缓缓流淌的那句“Baby I'm so lonely”让多少内心孤寂的人有了共鸣,
那句 “一切都会好起来”却又像黑夜中温暖的光亮驱逐了寒冷。
《End of a day》中温柔的歌声又抚慰了多少疲惫的灵魂。
他低沉地缓缓唱着:“辛苦了,真的受苦了。”
但我们不知道的是一直以音乐带给我们慰藉的钟铉,却一直因为音乐而痛苦。
——— / “对不起” / ———
“他不吃安眠药就无法入睡,都是整晚打电话然后才能渐渐入睡,就这样坚持到了现在。”
“他接受了治疗,却也无法好转。”
“钟铉的SNS头像是全黑的,在过去十个月里他一直保持着这个绝望的颜色。”
一直用音乐用语言用行动温暖别人的你,竟然一直这么痛苦的吗?
有一档节目企划是「如果喜欢的艺人安慰哭泣的我」。在钟铉的那期里他拍拍粉丝的肩膀,鼓励她“辛苦了,今天也辛苦了。”
然后温柔地摸摸头给她安慰。
从钟铉的遗书中仿佛看到了镜头舞台之外的另一个钟铉,一个我们一点都不了解的钟铉。
“我从骨子里出了故障,一点点啃噬着我的抑郁最终将我吞噬,我无法战胜它。”
“我厌恶我自己,记忆一直紧紧地攥住我,就算我再怎么大声对自己说要振作也没有用,没有办法。”
看到这样的话,才惊觉原来我们一点都不了解他。我们总是在他身上寻找安慰寻找目标寻找方向,一直对他抱着期待。
可从未想过他也需要安慰需要方向,而巨大的期待一直让他这么辛苦这么痛。
他在遗书里说:“还要说什么呢,就告诉我一句,辛苦了。就告诉我一句,到现在为止已经做的很好了,辛苦了。”
虽然晚了,但还是要说:“钟铉啊,辛苦了。”
——— / “我爱你” / ———
偶像似乎总是光芒万丈,平凡的我们需要借点光来照亮灰暗的生活。他们也许已经陪我们走完了整个青春,但没有人能陪你走完所有的路。
宫崎骏的电影里说:“当陪你的人要下车时,即使不舍,也该心存感激,然后挥手道别。”
粉丝们向钟铉道别的方式是:“钟铉啊,我爱你” “直到最后都爱你”。
“我爱你”比任何话语都沉重。
但死亡不是真正的告别,忘却才是。
别忘记他,别忘记他的音乐,别忘记他曾借给我们的光亮,那就永远都不是结束。
“A star that shined brightly on stage for 10 years, now a star of the skies.”
종현아,只愿你在天堂不再感到孤单,不再感到痛苦。我们会永永远远记得你。
也许你已经发现,近年来关于抑郁症的新闻越来越多了,也许你身边就有经受抑郁折磨的人。
世界卫生组织预计,到2020年抑郁症将跃至全球第二大疾病,自杀是其最可怕的症状。
1抑郁症是什么?
《环球首映》杂志执行主编朱熠在说到自己的抑郁症时是这样描述的:
The opposite of depression is not happiness, as I was not unhappy. It's the "vitality" on the other side of the pole. My body was trapped by the medical condition, so was my life. It drained my energy, and sucked my life.
抑郁症的反面不是"快乐",就像我并没有不快乐。抑郁症的反面是"活力",是我的身体被病魔困住了,导致我的人生也如同被困住了,我体内的精力好似被榨干了,导致我的人生也如同被抽空了。
所以,抑郁症到底是怎样的一种疾病?
Major depression, or clinical depression, is an episode of sadness or apathy along with other symptoms that lasts at least two consecutive weeks and is severe enough to interrupt daily activities.
重抑郁症,或临床抑郁症,是持续至少2周以上的悲伤或精神低落,并伴有其他症状,严重程度能影响日常生活。
☞ 一种常见的误解是:抑郁症只是忧郁,不是真的疾病。
事实是:
Depression is a serious medical condition. Biological evidence of the illness can be seen in brain scans. Key brain chemicals that carry signals between nerves also appear to be out of balance in depressed people.
抑郁症是一种严重的疾病。抑郁症患者的脑部扫描能显示出疾病的生物学证据。在神经间传输信号的关键大脑化学元素也表现出失衡的状态。
People who have clinical depression are not lazy or simply feeling sorry for themselves. Nor can they "will" depression to go away.
患有临床抑郁的人并不是懒惰或自怨自艾。他们也无法用“意志”赶走抑郁。
Like other illnesses, it usually improves with appropriate treatment.
和其他疾病一样,抑郁症通过正确的治疗,可以得到缓解。
下图是抑郁症患者和非抑郁症患者的脑部活动的对比。
2抑郁症有哪些症状?
抑郁症的症状既有精神和情绪上的,也有生理上的:
➀ Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness 感到无助和无望
A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.
前景一片惨淡,对一切都很绝望而且什么都无法改善你的情况。
➁ Loss of interest in daily activities 对生活失去兴趣
You don’t care anymore about former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex. You’ve lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure.
你不再关心过去的爱好,消遣,社交或是性。彻底失去了对快乐和愉悦的感知。
➂ Appetite or weight changes 食欲和体重的改变
Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.
明显的体重下降或升高,比如一个月内体重变化了至少5%。
➃ Sleep changes 睡眠变化
Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping.
失眠,尤其是特别早醒来,或是嗜睡。
➄ Anger or irritability 易怒
Feeling agitated, restless, or even violent. Your tolerance level is low, your temper short, and everything and everyone gets on your nerves.
感到焦虑、躁动不安,甚至有暴力倾向。你的忍耐力下降,控制不住你的脾气,任何人任何事都会让你烦躁。
➅ Loss of energy 乏力
Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy, and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.
感觉疲劳、呆滞,而且身体无力。你感觉整个身体很重,甚至一点小活都会让你感到精疲力尽或需要很长时间才能完成。
➆ Self-loathing 自我厌恶
Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes.
强烈的无用感或负罪感。你会很严厉地谴责自己的错误和失败。
➇ Reckless behavior 不顾后果的行为
You engage in escapist behavior such as substance abuse, compulsive gambling, reckless driving, or dangerous sports.
你会做一些过激的事情来逃避现实,比如滥用药物、强迫性赌博、鲁莽驾驶或者危险运动。
⑨ Concentration problems 专注力降低
Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.
很难集中注意力、做决定或者记住事情。
⑩ Unexplained aches and pains 莫名的疼痛
An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain.
越来越多的身体不适,比如头痛、背痛、肌肉痛和胃痛。
⑪ Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts 有自杀的念头或试图自杀
A depressed person may have frequent thoughts of death and suicide although they may or may not have an actual plan for carrying it out.
抑郁症患者可能经常想到死亡和自杀,他们或许有,也或许没有具体的自杀计划。
每个人的抑郁症状都会有所不同,而上述某些情况也有可能只是生活中的低潮而已。但这些症状你具备得越多,持续时间越长,那么你患有抑郁症的可能性也就越大。
3为什么会抑郁?
一些疾病能找到医学上的病因,因此可以对症下药。而抑郁症要复杂得多。
Depression is an extremely complex disease. It occurs for a variety of reasons.
抑郁症是一种极其复杂的疾病,病发原因多种多样。
Experts believe that it is caused by a complicated combination of genetic, environmental, biological, psychological and social factors.
专家认为它是一系列因素复杂结合的产物,如基因、环境、生物、心理和社会因素。
Some people experience depression during a serious medical illness.
一些人因遭受严重疾病而产生抑郁症。
Others may have depression with life changes such as a move or the death of a loved one.
一些人也许是因为生活上的变化,如搬家或亲人的去世。
Still others have a family history of depression.
还有一些人则可能有抑郁症的家族病史。
4易患病人群
Anyone can become depressed, but many experts believe genetics play a role.
任何人都可能得抑郁症,但是很多专家相信患病几率与基因有关。
Having a parent or sibling with depression increases your risk of developing the disorder.
如果父母或手足有人患有抑郁症会增加你的患病几率。
Women are twice as likely as men to become depressed.
女性患病几率是男性的两倍。
5抑郁症患者如何自救?
首先,要寻求专业的治疗。
其次,可以从生活的点点滴滴中做很多事情去与黑暗抗争,一点点缓解你的病况。
不要心急,按部就班地做以下几点,你会好起来的:
➀ Reach out to other people 试图与人联系
Isolation fuels depression. The simple act of talking to someone face to face about how you feel can be an enormous help.
孤独会助长抑郁。与他人面对面说说你的感觉会为你带来很大的帮助。
He or she just needs to be a good listener—someone who'll listen attentively without being distracted or judging you.
你只需要一个好的倾听者,一个会认真听你倾诉而不会走神或评判你的人。
➁ Get moving 动起来
When you’re depressed, just getting out of bed can seem daunting.
抑郁的时候,下床是件很艰巨的事。
But regular exercise can be as effective as antidepressant medication. Take a short walk or put some music on and dance around. Start with small activities and build up from there.
但是规律的运动会像抗抑郁药一样管用。走一走或者放点音乐跳跳舞,尝试这些小活动就是一个良好的开端。
➂ Eat a mood-boosting diet 制定改善心情的食谱
Reduce your intake of foods that can adversely affect your mood, such as caffeine, alcohol, trans fats, sugar, and refined carbs. And increase mood-enhancing nutrients such as Omega-3 fatty acids.
减少摄入那些对心情有不利影响的食物,如咖啡因、酒精、转脂肪食品、糖还有精制碳水化合物。多吃一些ω-3脂肪酸食物(植物产品、鱼类等)。
➃ Find ways to engage again with the world 努力重新融入这个世界
Spend some time in nature, care for a pet, volunteer, pick up a hobby you used to enjoy (or take up a new one). You won’t feel like it at first, but as you participate in the world again, you will start to feel better.
走近自然,养养宠物,做志愿者,重拾过去的爱好(或者培养一个新的)。开始可能毫无兴趣,可是当你一点点地融入世界,你的感觉会慢慢好起来。
6如何帮助抑郁症患者?
在面对一个经受抑郁折磨的人时,你自己或许也会感到很困惑、挫败、烦乱。
你也许怕增加他们的烦恼,也许因为太过迷茫而干脆选择沉默。
然而,你的帮助是很重要的。
曾与抑郁做过斗争的心理学家黛博拉·塞拉尼分享了几个很实在的建议:
➀ Be there 陪伴
"When I was struggling with my own depression, the most healing moments came when someone I loved simply sat with me while I cried, or wordlessly held my hand, or spoke warmly to me with statements like, 'You're so important to me.' 'Tell me what I can do to help you.' 'We're going to find a way to help you to feel better,'" Serani said.
塞拉尼说,"当我挣扎在抑郁中时,最治愈的时刻是我哭泣时,我爱的人坐在身边,或不说话只拉着我的手,或说一些温暖的话语,如'你真的对我很重要'、'告诉我我可以怎么帮你'、'我们会找到办法让你好起来的'。"
➁ Don't judge or criticize 不要评价或批判
Avoid saying statements such as: "You just need to see things as half full, not half empty" or "I think this is really all just in your head. If you got up out of bed and moved around, you'd see things better."
避免说这样的话:"你只要看事情好的一面而不是坏的一面,"或"这都是你想出来的。你起床走走,就会感觉好些了。"
These words imply that your loved one has a choice in how they feel – and has chosen, by free will, to be depressed. Such remarks are not only insensitive, they can isolate your loved one even more.
这些话的潜台词就是,他们可以选择怎么去感受,却自觉选择了抑郁。这种话不但麻木不仁,更会使你爱的人更加孤立。
➂ Avoid the tough-love approach 避免强势的爱
Many individuals think that being tough on their loved one will undo their depression or inspire positive behavioral changes.
很多人认为粗暴对待爱人或亲人可以赶走抑郁或激发出积极的变化。
For instance, some people might intentionally be impatient with their loved one, push their boundaries, use silence, be callous or even give an ultimatum (e.g., "You better snap out of it or I'm going to leave").
例如,有些人会故意表现出不耐烦,不断施压,用沉默、冷酷甚至最后通牒(如,"你最好赶紧振作起来,不然我就离开你")来对待他们。
But consider that this is as useless, hurtful and harmful as ignoring, pushing away or not helping someone who has cancer.
但这和无视、推开或拒绝帮助一个癌症患者一样,有百害而无一益。
➃ Don't minimize their pain 不要轻视他们的痛苦
Statements such as "You're just too thin-skinned" or "Why do you let every little thing bother you?" invalidates what a person with depression is experiencing, and completely glosses over the fact that they're struggling with a difficult disorder – not some weakness or personality flaw.
"你只是太敏感了"或"你为什么总为各种小事烦心?"这种话等于否定了抑郁症患者经受的痛苦,且完全无视他们是在和一种很难应付的精神疾病作斗争,而不是个人性格上的软弱或缺陷。
➄ Avoid offering advice 避免提建议
It probably seems natural to share advice with your loved one. But while it may be true that the depressed person needs guidance, offering it is likely to make them feel insulted or even more inadequate and further detached.
或许给你爱的人提一些建议是很正常的事,抑郁的人确实也需要指导,但主动提建议会让他们感到被侮辱,甚至更加觉得自己毫无用处,从而继续封闭自己。
Instead ask, "What can we do to help you feel better?" This gives your love one the opportunity to ask for help.
不如换个方式,这样问,"我们怎么才能让你感觉好一点?"这就给了他们求助的机会。
➅ Learn as much as you can about depression 尽量了解抑郁症
Once you can identify the symptoms of depression and understand its course and consequences, you can better support your loved one.
一旦你确定了抑郁症的症状、过程和结果,你就能更好地帮助你爱的人。
For instance, some people assume that if a person with depression has a good day, they're cured. According to Serani, "Depression is not a static illness. There is an ebb and flow to symptoms that many non-depressed people misunderstand."
例如,有些人以为抑郁症患者某一天心情不错,他们的病就好了。塞拉尼说,"抑郁症不是一种静态的疾病,其病症会有起伏波动,没得过这种病的人多半会误解。"
➆ Be patient 耐心
Patience is a pivotal part of supporting your loved one.
耐心是支持你爱的人的关键。
"When you're patient with your loved ones, you're letting them know that it doesn't matter how long this is going to take, or how involved the treatments are going to be, or the difficulties that accompany the passage from symptom onset to recovery, because you will be there. With such patience comes hope," Serani said.
塞拉尼说,"耐心对待你的爱人或亲人,让他们知道,无论多久,无论要接受多少治疗,无论从发病到治愈的过程有多艰难,你都会陪伴在他们身边。有了这样的耐心,就会有希望。"
(部份内容图片来自爱奇艺泡菜帮/中国日报双语新闻)
| 喜欢就分享到朋友圈吧 |
热门文章推荐:
英语大神修炼营
外教免费教学,30天远离哑巴英语
常用词汇语法精讲,小白大神通用
入群即获英语学习资料,定期更新
不定期组织抽奖送双语实体书活动
↑↑↑
关注微信,回复“上课”即可入群
点击下方“阅读原文”免费领取5元现金红包!